Vicky McCarley Allen

"Wave of Grief" 

Welt felting with roving and curly wool on burlap, modeling clay w/ paper wasp nest for shrouds, abalone, and other natural materials.

The Wave of Grief arrived in my thoughts in April 2025, during my participation in the "Being Present to Dying" cohort led by Hospice Without Borders. We were practicing a meditation "Strong back, Soft Front" and as I breathed in, I felt the ocean waves of life pouring over me. I was

immediately drawn back to a vision of "My Light Being" and a wave of water washing the darkness away. The rip tide separating my worlds and participation by distance and events, and as I swim parallel, the waves of life carry me onward. The wave form is inspired by the “The Great Wave off Kanagawa” mural on the wall of the Childhood’s End Gallery by regional artist Joe Tougas, recently restored by local artist Austin Davis. Looking back at my heroines journey, you can see the waves were already a formidable part of my vision and journey. Thank you to Bjarne, Irene and Sigrid who helped me tear the fibers apart so they could be so beautifully formed back together, to Jay for sharing her beautiful abalone, and all the others who have helped me bring my vision into expressive art. 

"My Light Being,"

Acrylic on canvas 

and 

"Mouth with No Voice" 

Modeling clay

My first experience with creating art as a form of my expression came during a Hospice caregiver's support group in 2004. We met, created our safe container for the evening, and walked into a room full of different art media. This is where I found expression for the feelings I had no words or voice to express. I created "My Light Being," (see photo above bottom right) and "Mouth with No Voice" (see below) during one of these evenings. At the end of that session, I splatted black over part of my piece. 2 years later I scraped the darkness off and a young friend helped me name it "My Light Being." I found artistic expression was a form of communication with my father when he too could no longer speak. 

 "Cartography of a Heart, a Heroines Journey" 

This was my first formal art work (2016) depicting a timeline with numbers and events culminating in one place. I recently expanded it to depict

another recent round of profound multiple losses from August 2022 to October 2023.

"Ghost Figure" 

Charcoal on paper

The ghost figure appeared when I was learning how to use dark and white by applying and removing charcoal on paper.  I had no intention of depicting any particular form, they arose in the movement of applying, moving, and removing charcoal. It reminds me how lovingly my father held everyone in his world.

"The Mask" 

Paper formed mold w/ mixed media

I created this piece in 2019 in a class learning how to support clients, while on my own journey into a new profession in Occupational Therapy. It's an expression of how I see my inner being, even when my feelings override my vision.

 Artist Bio

I am a local pediatric occupational therapy assistant, elder companion and caregiver, former experiential educator and pet sitter, 

and an always ever learner.

I have always found solace, comfort, at one with and in nature. It was a natural part of my growing up to be outside on our small farm, and I love how the seasons hold the cycle of life so evident. Most of my early adult life I worked outside, leading outdoor educational adventure programs. My experience with natural world art being so temporary, yet foundational. Figures and forms in the sky, wave patterns in the sand, textures and forms in rock and wood, and a pallet of color with each seasonal change indelible in my memory. The wind stirs and blows open my house, the smell of the ocean, river bank and forest duff helps me breath, the sand, clay and mud absorb that which I struggle to release, and the water washes away debris, reminding me 

of the precious breath of life.

My first experience with creating art as a form of my expression came during a Hospice caregiver’s support group in 2004. We met, created our safe container for the evening, and walked into a room full of different art media. This is where I found a way to release the feelings I had no words or voice to express. I found artistic expression was a form of communication with my father when he too could no longer speak. We lost 6 family members between March of 2004 and July of 2005, and I lost 2 dear friends in the fall of 2006. 

What surprised me were the feelings that started arising later, in the late spring of 2007.  I sought professional help for my mental and physical well being to support my grief process. My moving through grief was reflected over a year of intentional daily, weekly and planned activities. 

I read myself to sleep every night with children’s books to decrease anxiety and stress. I was out on the water nearly every week with our Elderspirit 4-H youth club. I planned with support, utilizing our 4-H curriculum, a week long solo hike as my Rite of Passage through my grief, from Rialto beach to Anderson beach living, breathing and moving with the tides. I was also part of a team of friends who trained and summited Mount Rainier. I found it hardest to hike 3 miles down into the Grand Canyon during an extended weekend  unexpectedly going down into the depths of my feelings.  I am deeply appreciative of all those who held me, showed up to support me during most vulnerable moments, held my story of the past and helped me see and live into my future.

We recently experienced profound multiple losses from August 2022 to October 2023. My involvement with activities Jennie Banks organized in her Death Dancer arts walk display in 2024, has helped me forge a new path of living with grief and loss. I have found my work with children and elders to be the most rewarding and life affirming. 

Much gratitude to Jennie Banks, who in sharing her journey, has helped me find the courage to share my work and my story. Thank you to Janet Kelly who shared her lovely abalone. To Bjarne, Irene and Sigrid who helped me tear the fibers apart so they could be so beautifully put back together, and all the others who have helped me bring my vision into expressive art.