Jennie Beth Banks

  “Waiting for Father” 

Print on Canvas

In 2017, my US cousin asked me to use my genealogy skills to find more details on her mother’s biological father in the UK. She only had a name and the knowledge that he was a sailor and had married her mother at Gretna Green at a very young age (Gretna Green was historically the place in Scotland young people could go to marry without their parents’ permission). The story is that they returned from Scotland and the parents forced them to annul the marriage. By this time, her mother was already pregnant with her. Using the little information we had, I figured out who I thought was the correct man but there was no way to prove he was the one. Then DNA came in and I could help organize her mother to get a DNA text. 

Maybe this could verify if I had the right one? We did the test and yes it was him and so I contacted his family to ask for a photo. As often happens in these stories, they knew nothing about her. He had passed many years ago and had not shared the story of a daughter with anyone. Did he know his first wife had been pregnant? We will never know. The family were understandably a little shocked and then the pandemic came and we lost touch. In 2023, they got in touch and were ready to connect. By this time my cousin’s mother was in a nursing home and age 91. The family sent us a photograph of her father. This photo shows her mother holding the photo of her father. The first time she had seen his face. The resemblance is striking. 

The next day she had a stroke and three days later, died. Was she waiting to see a picture of her real father? It was a mixed blessing, but there is something comforting to know she didn’t die not knowing.  

 Artist Bio

Originally from Sheffield in the north of the UK, Jennie currently lives in Olympia, WA, with her two beloved rescue dogs, Mun'i and Xena. She is the Creative Director and Founder of Death Dancer and likes to refer to herself as a Soul Doula, helping and supporting people with their end of life experiences and reflections. 

Death Dancer was born not long after she experienced carbon monoxide and gas poisoning, along with B6 Toxicity, in 2021. She thought she was dying several times, which led her to reflect deeply on her own mortality and the inevitability of death. Two years into her recovery, she started working on a documentary idea and began interviewing Death Professionals to help her process her own death anxiety.  Inspired by this reflective process, she then went on to create conceptual mixed media art pieces related to Death & Dying, Loss, and Living, which led to the curation of an art exhibit for the Fall Olympia Arts Walk in October 2024. 

Her art practice has developed ever since and more and more ideas keep flowing to help us open up the conversation around death and dying and grief.