Ali Carras

  “The Cuckoo Clock”

Mixed Media

7 losses in 5 years is enough to rock your core and make you ponder what is truly important in life. In 2022 I lost my 37-year-old younger brother. He was a top surgeon who recently started his career, but something in him changed during residency. He was burnt out, stressed and experienced extreme PTSD from the intense cases he witnessed. He was adored by all and incredibly smart, yet the current state of the healthcare industry prevented him from feeling comfortable in taking care of himself. While his death was not intentional, he certainly gave up the want to live. It was a tragic loss and one that consumes me on a daily basis. 

On the anniversary of my younger brother's passing, my sister and I separately found ourselves in the town where he had passed in Shasta, CA. Neither of us had planned to be in Shasta on this date but fate called us both there. I was in a crystal shop he frequented in Shasta when another customer told me there were two portals in the shop and I was standing in one of them. I didn't really know what that meant but I knew it was something significant. We live in such a closed off, grief illiterate culture…it is important to normalize talking about loss and this is my open door, my cuckoo clock, or portal, to doing so. This space is where I imagine my brother may be now, near a beautiful mountain, listening to the birds, and looking down on us.

If you know a healthcare professional who is struggling with mental health, please share a resource specific to their industry: https://tend.health/

The bird sound I recorded while I was visiting my parent’s home in Palm Springs after my dad died, a year before my brother's passing. My dad was an avid talker and this bird, a mockingbird, sang/spoke to me for a good minute or so, making so many different sounds. I can't help but think this mockingbird was my dad checking in on me. 

 Artist Bio

Ali Carras was born and raised in Boulder, Colorado, and lived for a time in Saudi Arabia, Illinois and California. Her home is now amongst the moss and gnomes in Olympia, Washington. She holds a BA in Studio Art and BS in Psychology from Santa Clara University and has worked for the San Jose Museum of Art, Palo Alto Art Center and the Tacoma Art Museum. 

Her art has been purchased for numerous homes in San Francisco and Olympia, has been featured at the Tacoma Art Museum, on display at the vacant storefronts in downtown Olympia, at the TCMFA and at various Olympia Arts Walk events. 

When she is not playing with shapes and colors or crafting up cuckoo clock portals, you’ll find her on long hikes, reading graphic novels on the beach with her kids, watching a cooking show with her husband, or writing a semi-exaggerated memoir of her life. 

Lighting/sound design by Ross Carras

Instagram: art.ali.carras